FOMO. It’s the fear of missing out. Ever since I logged on to my first Google Classroom meeting my freshman year, it seemed that my high school experience would be far from “normal.” While eating instant noodles during math class and staying up late at night playing Fortnite was temporarily fulfilling, I longed for a more enriching experience. 

When I first watched “High School Musical” at the ripe age of ten years old, I dreamed that my high school years would be just as enchanting as the movie. Despite my freshman year being clouded by Covid-19, I was nevertheless shocked to see that the singing and dancing I once watched was replaced by overwhelming homework assignments and AP classes during sophomore year. Besides the occasional homework assignments I completed in middle school, I had never experienced anything so strenuous so far in my academic career. Although I always knew that high school would be an increase in workload, I never comprehended the amount of sacrifices I had to make. 

Every hour of my time is precious, something that I still have trouble conceptualizing to this day. During my sophomore year, it became more apparent that I would have to start “budgeting” my time better. This included what clubs and organizations I joined; who and when I chose to hang out with; the sports I played; and even the amount of hours I slept each night. While I often feared that I was missing out on fun events and meetings throughout my sophomore year, I was grateful for my experience in SCA, track and field, and even through my brand-new startup business. 

Junior year was my identity crisis. With the departure of my sister to college, I no longer had a reassuring anchor to advise what I should and shouldn’t do with my extracurriculars. Despite the fun memories I had made in track and field the previous season, I decided to join the lacrosse team, a sport I was already familiar with. During my first year on the team, I learned to play cohesively with my teammates as I rummaged for ground balls, poked at opposing players’ sticks, and occasionally trucking unsuspecting opponents to the grass turf. It was for the first time that I finally realized that I wasn’t the only person finding their academic “identity” — every single student was. While I worried over how well my resume for college bestowed, if my GPA was high enough, or whether I could live up to my standards for the SAT, it was always a priority that I valued my high school experience and created memories along the process. Even though junior year is considered the most “rigorous” of the four, it was this year that I learned how to express my own interests regardless of whatever future universities wanted of me.

If I were to go back and give my younger self advice, I would tell him to get those college applications out! For weeks upon end, I would waver over a single document, creating small details and making sure that every sentence was perfect for my Common App essay. Through this tedious and time consuming process, I always feared that I would miss out on the fun memories that beholden my senior year. Despite these temptations, I improved my ability to focus through straining dilemmas and pushed through the constant adversary of my everlasting FOMO. I ended up applying to twenty three colleges and universities. While I originally planned on attending a school in VA, I ended up committing to a school that I had only heard of through the NCAA March Madness Basketball Tournament. Even through my ups and downs of my experiences, the college application process taught me valuable habits that I will utilize further down my academic career. If I could choose to do the college application process again, I wouldn’t change a thing (but I probably would consider it).

As senior year comes to a close, and I am only a few weeks away from graduation, I find it beneficial to reflect on my personal milestones throughout my high school years. Although I still believe that additional personal improvements will come in time, my progress from freshman to senior year has already been drastic by itself. While nightmares of FOMO may continue to terrorize me in the future, I strive to continue to learn and improve upon the struggles of everyday life.