Simply Lemonade: The Golden Standard

There is a superior lemonade, and it’s time to give credit where credit is due.


Nidhi Manchala

Lemonade is obviously a monarchy: Simply Lemonade is the king, or the ruler of all. Tropicana and Minute Maid are trying to steal the throne.

Nidhi Manchala and Bella Gerardi

Lemonade is always going to evoke that nostalgic, childhood feeling. However, that opinion shouldn’t cloud your vision on the best-tasting lemonade. Using our scientifically-proven taste buds, we present a comprehensive review of lemonade brands. There are no easy gold stars, and there is a winner. 

Kool-Aid: This lemonade tastes great if you’ve burned your taste buds off with molten lava. This type of lemonade is attractive to high energy toddlers. It’s packed with sugar and completely drowns out the tangy, savory lemon. Behind all of that is a lovely hint of cleaning supplies — probably bleach. This lemonade will never get over 2 stars, due to it mocking the lemonade community with its fake ingredients. However, it is intensely nostalgic to some. Maybe it brings back memories of a sweaty summer birthday party as a toddler. There might be childhood images attached to the “Maltodextrin salt” and the artificial color “Yellow 5.” With that, this lemonade is a solid 1 out of 5 stars.

Minute Maid: This lemonade gets 2 different reviews because there are 2 entirely different versions of it:  soda machine and regular bottled. Soda machine Minute Maid is almost always a disaster. Yes, the cold, icey burn of the lemonade feels great, but you get a different flavor for each machine. That can’t be standard — or healthy. However, bottled Minute Maid is superior. Their lemonade is so natural. The lemon-to-sugar ratio is almost perfect, and the only complaint is the little bit of empty flavor in each sip. That isn’t exactly a bad thing, though:  in a situation where your stomach is going insane and you need to ingest something neutral to calm you down, Minute Maid is the perfect brand. A solid 5/5.

Tropicana: When you think of this brand, you probably think of orange juice. Before I tried this lemonade, I thought to myself, what could orange juice producers know about the art and perfection of lemonade? Turns out, a lot. Tropicana lemonade holds a very predictable flavor though. Even with their unoriginal lemonade recipe, it’s bearable to consume. However, with a lemonade that can sometimes taste too sugary, Tropicana isn’t able to pull it off all the way. When it comes to marketing and sales, no one wants to purchase lemonade from an orange juice company. Overall, a ⅗ —  points taken off only because they’re orange juice enjoyers, who are narcs.

Simply: The most superior lemonade. The sourness of the lemon is the first thing you can taste, drowned out with the sweetness that follows. The lemon holds such a powerful feeling. Simply lemonade gives a rush of energy, accented with a cold-burning sensation, which makes Simply a simply life-changing experience. Since then, it’s been the only tolerable lemonade that we’ve been able to enjoy greatly without any complaints on behalf of the lemonade brand as a whole. The lemonade never tastes different with each bottle, it doesn’t taste like fake ingredients, and this company is an expert at creating lemonade. With that, this lemonade gets a solid 5/5.

Lemonade is an absolutely crucial part of growing up. It’s the safest drink to bring to any group of people (unless one of them has a citrus allergy, and to that I say I am so sorry you will never taste lemonade). Lemonade is very capable of destroying and creating relationships. There will always be different superior lemonades to people, but at least we can confirm that Kool Aid will never even be a competitor.